Birth of A Solar System

 

So, back here again after a long time, not as long as last one. But still 3 months is a good time.

Last time, I was freaking out a little bit, about where my life been going and what am I gonna do, and what will happen with my life blah blah blah. I don't have answers to these questions even now as well, but I am starting to enjoy the journey and accepting life as it is.

My goal in life is peace and power, power to do what I want to, not anything villain-like but still some confidence in myself. I will tell you by example, like last time I went to the airport there were many potential matches that I could have talked to, and just normal conversation not much. And I had time as well, but I was not able to reason being I don't know how to start a conversation. It;s a bit tough for me, usually people start the conversation with me, I can keep it going but starting is again where I need confidence. So I am still working on that, how and what to talk to people. I look like Aman Gupta, that could be a conversation starter. But again they have to know who the owner of the Boat Company is.

Other than talking to strangers, my overall confidence has increased. That is one due to gym, I started going regularly and that is helping me boost my confidence a lot. And along with that I am noticing that people are actually taking interest in me. And I like it, like everyone does when someone is taking interest in them, their activities and other stuff. I feel like my time for making a gf is somewhere around the corner, don't know if it will happen or not. But it definitely feels like it. My love life is very dry. TBH I have only loved a single person romantically, and she didn't. And that feeling, that gruesome feeling, converted my love for her into hatred and as long as I have it I won't be able to move on. My main motive to start writing this blog was due to that reason mostly. So that I can clear my mind of her and move on. 

Moving on, I am currently back in Mathura, and have a coffee date planned with a girl (should have been today, but I think next week now probably). I don't have any intentions for that girl, but I think she is a very nice person. I have met her once 2 years ago during a exam and she's is like a very soft spoken and mature kind of person (Will know reality only when I get to know her more). 

I am actually liking banglore now, with bike and everything. One thing that I understood is that I like my independence, like m jab chahu plan cancel karu ya jab chahe bnau, kisi ke bharose na rahu. Like it's like being in a present, what conditions are there and what you want to do. One thing to remember along with this is you have to be disciplined in few aspects of life. This could look something like you have to go to gym 4-5 days a week, even if just for cardio, no matter at what time you go, or for how long you are staying. You can leave the moment your body or mood says enough for today. Your body needs to enjoy the exercise and your mind needs to be trained.

Other things going on in my life are about career and family, I actually don't want to include it here.